Tuesday, April 21, 2009

I fell off the wagon

I've been doing it again, while I am trying to consciously not talk about my body, that seems not to apply to my inner dialogue. It doesn't seem to apply to the numerous articles I have been reading online about people loosing weight or body image or the myriad of other related topics. While in part it seems difficult not to because just seems like it is every where I turn and other times I seek it out.

I suppose it is difficult not to do since I have been pity partying for the last three days. And nothing is more unattractive than a pity party. It is a funk that I can't shake, which just leads back to old habits.

Perhaps it is just change that I am craving, but I can't figure out what sort of change I want to make in my life. I mean there is the obvious big change that is happening with the move to the NYC. But that just still seems big picture enough that even all the small steps I am taking to don't seem like real changes.

I need immediate change now, change in my mindset, change in my routine. Something that gets me out of this funk, helps me regain my confidence and go back to the self-loving person I was merely a few weeks ago


Lloyd Dobler: Why can't you be in a good mood? How hard is it to decide to be in a good mood and be in a good mood once in a while?"
Constance: Gee, it's easy.

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