Wednesday, April 8, 2009

An open letter

Dear those who attended the Lily Allen concert on Monday,


I have never been to a show before with so many rude people. It was as if a crowd of a couple hundred people had all never been to a concert before and had no concept of concert etiquette.

If you are approximately 7ft tall you do not come and stand directly in front of my under 5ft friend. You can see over everyone, stand in the back.

If you are too drunk to function, repeatedly hit on the same girls, do the above action, do us a favor and just go home. You ruined parts of the experience as I am spending time thinking of ways I could hit/punch/kick you without getting kicked out of the show or missing my favorite song.

Please do not sing at the top of your lungs in an off key, nasally voice. I did not pay $27 to hear you sing, I paid for Lily Allen. There are appropriate times to sing loud and proud at shows, an acoustic song when the whole venue is super quiet is not one of those times.

If you wanted to be at the front of the stage for the show, then get there early. Don't expect to have a good spot right as the set is beginning. Subsequently do not push past me, causing me to loose my spot with you and 6 of your friends expecting to get any closer. Split up or stand in a place where all of you fit. Don't make the rest of us squished because you didn't plan ahead.

Finally, PLEASE DO NOT HAVE ALMOST SEX IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CROWD. If you wanted to spend the whole time making out and humping each other, put the Lily Allen CD on and stay at home. You are very distracting and all that PDA is unnecessary.

As Lily Allen would say:

Fuck you, fuck you very very much

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