Wednesday, February 28, 2007

It is the beginning of the end

Well, I think I did one of the scariest things of my life (well my life so far), which was registering for my last quarter of college classes. It was very anti-climatic and I got into all my classes on the first try, which I don't think ever happens. But there it is said and done. But as someone said to me last night, "If I was you I would be scared, I have a year and quarter to go and I am already worrying about what I am going to do. " Which of course I am scared, but at least I know that I am hiding it well, if she couldn't tell. But it is all that I think about, all the time. It trumps most other thoughts (minus all the work I need to get done to pass this quarter) and it makes it real difficult to balance looking at the big picture and the small picture at the same time.
Not much else to really comment on. I think this past Tuesday was the first Tuesday in a long time that I wasn't stressed at all during layout and really I should have been. Maybe its all part of my new thing that apparently I don't stress out when I should and instead I just sleep. Good Job self, good job

Monday, February 19, 2007

"no guys, we want more per pounds, we want to pack it on"

What to write about, what to write about? So much has happened in the last few days it seems impossible to comment on it all in a coherant entry. So we'll do the cliff notes version:
  • Britney shaved her head and got ridiculous tattoos. Not much more is needed to be said here, except for the fact that she is making K-Fed look not as trashy which was hard to to do since he was the epitome of trash.
  • "Ghost Rider" was number one at the box office. "Ghost Rider" come on now people, in what realm did that even look like movie? Yeah sure Eva Mendes is attractive, but should her hot factor account for $40+ million in ticket sales? I know that I like some pretty bad movies, but even I have to draw the line.
  • Speaking of movies, "Bridge to Terabethia" was number two at the box office and contrary to other rumors it is true to the book and Leslie does die at the end. As it does appear that the trailers are misleading and that it does follow the book pretty well. So I want to see it, but that probably won't happen until it comes on video, but I digress. On some of the message boards about the movies, people were complaining about that fact that Leslie does die at the end and that Disney movies are supposed to be happy and also that the death and religious aspects were too deep for children to handle. What? I get that kids are growing up faster than necessary sometimes, but death isn't something that they need to be sheltered from, especially when it is done so tastefully in this film and book. Its not like Disney movies are perfect anyway, they are sexist, stereotypical and violent (doesn't mean I still don't love them). I just think of it as a great way to teach children about death, that is still abstract enough that it is something they don't have to actually go through, but can use the film as catharsis.
  • THIS JUST IN: BANANA REPUBLIC NOW OFFERS CLOTHES IN DOUBLE ZEROES! Well thank goodness, because you don't know how big my zeroes were on me. Now, I know that there are some people are naturally skinner and everything, but really that skinny, so skinny you wear a size that is a double digit of a number that ulitimately means nothing. It just seems to be encouraging unhealthy body image and eating habits. There is nothing wrong with being skinny if that is how your body is built, just like there is nothing wrong with being an 8 or 14 as long as you are healthy about it.
  • Last one, but personal pet peeve, people who use the handicap button to open then door when they don't need to and then subsequently cause the door to be open for a good ten seconds letting in a whole shitload of cold air and seem oblivious to it.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007


So on my walk to school on a wall I would see this spray-painted stenciled picture of a heart with wing-esque types things coming from it and it said "c'est la vie." It was always sort of inspiring in a way. Sometimes I would specifically look for it and others I would forget it was there, but would happen to look at that wall when I would walk by. I had always meant to take a picture of it as well, but the one day I had my camera with me and remember the picture, I didn't. I was running late and thought that it would be there for awhile. But I should have just taken its advice and taken a picture that day, because when I was looking for it today, it wasn't there. The day I needed it to remind me "such is life" it is not there. I was looking for it to provide the obivous sign that it had been all those times before.
But maybe it was providing a sign, maybe the fact that it had been painted over it is a message for me to not accept "such is life" and that I need to step out of my easily controlled comfort zone. That I need to let go a bit and go with the flow.
This means not being in control, not knowing what will happen next, not being the one who is in the driver's seat. While I don't mind others making choices, I am a backseat driver and so I at least make sure I have my say in where we are going and how we get there.

Well, this is just too many symbols and metaphors for this early in the morning, I give up

Sunday, February 4, 2007

When he's good, his really really good and when he is bad he is horrid*

Well, it is over, the Super Bowl that is (midterms and my homework is a whole other issue). And it was good...for like the first 10 minutes. Then the Bears just sucked it up. Man oh man, did they just loose it. I mean, at least put up a fight right? Give it the ol' college effort or something. But it just got pathetic in the end. I think that is what just sucked the most, that it wasn't even a game, it was a massacre. I want a game. Something to get into, on the edge of your seat action. Not a game that all it takes is a discussion of state capitals to distract you from it.

Sidenote: I have noticed that many of my posts have involved sports, which is very interesting since while I do enjoy watching the occasional game, I am not a huge sports fan. But I think it is also because I am trying to keep this from being an emo bitch fest like a lot of blogs are. I am trying to learn to comment on the world around me and leave a lot my personal shit/venting out of it.

However, I did make one decison that involves the future and it is a big one. I am going to go to London over the summer. After Rubi is done with her study abroad program and right before Phoebe's starts up, we are going to meet in London and then go to France, Italy and possibly Amsterdam? It is all still very tenative plans, since neither of them have actually been accepted into the programs, but still it is hopeful.

Finally I'll get stamps in my passport! And after talking about it, wouldn't it be nice to just travel, live in a place for a couple of months, work an odd job here or there and then on to the next. It seems so scary, yet so crazy, adventurous and so not me. But it is the sort of person that I want to be. So who knows

*no, this isn't a sexual reference, gutter mind, it is my very articulatre comment about Rex Grossman's arm.

Friday, February 2, 2007

"do what you love and fuck the rest"

Well, it is hard to believe that it is already the end of the week. Or rather it is hard to believe that it is already Feburary. Where did January go? It seems like it was only yesterday I was starting classes and now we are at mid-terms. In a way I want it to go faster so that I am closer to my two weeks of spring break (go me), but at the same time that means I am that much closer to graduating and not knowing what I do with my life. I know the easy answers and weighing those with the difficult choices. There is part of me that just wants to pack up my stuff put it in storage somewhere and just leave. Go abroad or just to the east coast, find a job, any job and just do that. Just survive. Take the scary road of uncertainity and just do it because I have never done it before. Pack up the aquamarine machine, pray it makes it across state boarders and just live. Not have the worry of school any more or the fact that I am still just as lost as I was before. To be carefree, worry free, just free in general.

Its a liittle late to being getting into this deep stuff so late at night. So on a lighter note, I itunes searched my name. I never realized there were so many songs with my name in them